Weeeeelllll....
I brought my iPad and planned to read the post from it sometime during the service. Uncle Mike went first. He did a marvelous job talking about the skills PaPa had besides gardening, such as building every square inch of his house from the ground up to taking apart engines and putting them back together. Aunt Kathy was next. She talked about how PaPa was probably up in heaven giving God design tips on the human body, being that his earthly body contained many artificial parts. Next up was cousin Sean. Picture in your head a fair skinned, red headed gentle giant that speaks with gusto and boom. He began to talk about how his father (PaPa's brother) cherished PaPa and always looked up to him. Sean himself saw PaPa as a hero, an idol. Tears started flowing. He continued to talk about how all of PaPa's siblings worshipped and adored him and how much he would be missed. Tears, again. He went on to list so many wonderful things about PaPa and how his life touched so many...and the tears kept coming. He did a beautiful job. A touching job. And I though to myself "there's no way I can follow that."
WRONG.
My brother nudged me up to the podium and again, I reluctantly said yes.
I opened the iPad, pulled up the post, took one look at the picture of PaPa and Caroline and did this:
Yep, the Ugly Cry. It me about a minute to get it together, I talked for a minute about my Granny, then I lost it again. And again. And again. I'm not really sure what I said by the time I finally sat down. I tried to talk about his legacy and how great his children are. I tried talking about the party that's happening up in Heaven. I tried to hold it together, but I mainly just cried. And cried. Not the cute, pretty, dab the tears with a tissue...the ugly, sobbing, give me the whole dang box of tissue kind of crying. My dad came up to support me at one point, although I felt the support of my entire family during the whole Ugly Cry 2012 experience. :)
The service ended soon after and I was able to enjoy a cold beer at the post party. I was also about to share more great stories with family members and bond with others I hadn't seen in a while. All in all, we had such a great time celebrating the life of a great man.
Rest in peace, PaPa. You are missed.
Katie
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain and know what it's like. I have to give you some mad street cred though for getting up there and speaking, even if you did ugly cry though the whole thing. I wrote a letter to my Pop-pop about 2 months before he died, basically telling him how awesome he was, and how lucky I was to have him and all the amazing things I got from him through my life. Well when he died my Nana asked me to read the letter but I knew there was no way I could get through it without falling completely apart. I didn't even attempt it. So right there you are ahead of me. However, someone read my letter for me, which I approved of, and I ugly cried through the whole thing from my seat. Same kind of ugly cry you had, loud uncontrollable sobbing, I mean the kind of sobbing where the entire assembly probably couldn't hear the letter being read over my sobs. It was bad, however, I will say that in your moment and mine, it was a true reflection of how much those dear men meant to us. Glad I am not the only ugly crier in the world, but seriously way to go on getting up there for doing it. I dread the day I have to ugly cry at my Nana's service.
I'm so glad I'm not the only Ugly Crier out there! It's awful, isn't it? It's amazing how so much emotion can come out at one time. You're right - it is a sign of how great these men were. :)
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